Fifty-two days. Fifty-two excruciatingly mind-numbing and terror stricken days until I leave my current residence, upon a jet and a prayer, in order to live “over there” in Japan. The teeth gnashing isn’t because I’m going, of course, but rather because I am still existing here. “Here” isn’t of much consequence in and of itself, other than the fact that just being “here” drives me insane from sheer boredom and my own lack of perspective on things. Such traits take time to develop I suppose so I don’t burden myself with feeling down about it.
But that’s fine. I can cope at least. Pretty soon I’ll be back where everyday is a challenge and just communicating, due to my lack of persistence in certain areas of my studies (Japanese), is an often bewildering and delightfully frustrating task. That’s Japan for me. An exercise in exercising my mind a bit more than I do here. Its a matter of necessity to give “it” your all when you are living in Japan and even though you might fail occasionally most people won’t hold it against you, or at least they won’t show you that they do. Perfectly fine with me.
Besides, that is better than being here where everyday is about as drama filled as the day before it and nobody really knows what, if anything, they are existing for. Perhaps, I’m jaded. Ok, I can definitely admit that is the fact. Its been a character flaw of mine for some time now. But deep down, this place doesn’t feel like mine and its time to take the circus on a route towards a different circuit. Hopefully, somewhere along we’ll derail and I’ll escape this three ring sideshow. Let us meander down a different path.
52 days.
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